sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
