you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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