We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
