she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize