People with herpes should wear stickers.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
