He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She bit a glass in half.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
