i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
