Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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