How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Houston, we have a squirter
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
