Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
