On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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