Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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