About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
