So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
