I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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