9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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