I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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