Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
