I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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