So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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