i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
