I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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