i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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