Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
