i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
