he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
