the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
