i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.