i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.