My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy