The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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