Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

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  (201): Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning? http://tfl.nu/326j
  Replies (31) Good night (945) Bad night (2369)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5726) Bad night (934)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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  (281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd
  Replies (16) Good night (2043) Bad night (5756)
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  (+52): View more from Mexico

  that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.

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  (+52): that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time. http://tfl.nu/nkav
  Replies (10) Good night (4713) Bad night (1532)
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  (650): View more from California

  an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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  (650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j
  Replies (81) Good night (10496) Bad night (3070)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.

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  (757): Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated. http://tfl.nu/8q5f
  Replies (10) Good night (3134) Bad night (1097)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night

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  (480): Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night http://tfl.nu/495y
  Replies (7) Good night (1895) Bad night (927)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

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  (780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189
  Replies (61) Good night (1919) Bad night (11307)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.

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  (651): I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed. http://tfl.nu/6al2
  Replies (17) Good night (4152) Bad night (1254)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

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  (418): You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar. http://tfl.nu/ds06
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (484)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now

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  (724): Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now http://tfl.nu/jdhz
  Replies (8) Good night (1065) Bad night (660)
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  (909): View more from California

  is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.

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  (909): is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender. http://tfl.nu/yst1
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (447)
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  (530): View more from California

  Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa

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  (530): Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa http://tfl.nu/e36z
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (982)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?

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  (770): Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been? http://tfl.nu/1qg4
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (261)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.

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  (630): What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research. http://tfl.nu/y3b0
  Replies (3) Good night (328) Bad night (169)

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