tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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