The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
