Define "chronic" masturbator.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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