3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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