Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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