New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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