Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A+ Viking dick
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
