I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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