whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
too bad you live with your parents still
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
