I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
