Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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