I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
