I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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