he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
