Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
