every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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