dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
