She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
