Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He better not be in your backpack
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
