I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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