Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
