I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
