glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
