Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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