He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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