Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
