Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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