Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
