she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
